I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just threw up on my dentist
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
