i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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