apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Less talking, more tequila
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
