Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
a search helicopter?!
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
