Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
