Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
