to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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