last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize
