No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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