Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
