oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
