I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize