I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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