Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
