Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
