Tell her she can't have a vagina
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize