i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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