Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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