my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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