I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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