I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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