If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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