there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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