If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
