I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
