i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize