so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
