i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
