Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You ate ashes out of my bong
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
