please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
