Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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