we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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