Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
