Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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