Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
