I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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