Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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