hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
