I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
