I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
