just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
