Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize