Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
