TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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