I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
