yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
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