His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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