She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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