if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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