operation have a gay friend backfired
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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