I am puke
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
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