kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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