she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
