I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize