K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
