So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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