The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
