i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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